Fire Casinos

Our Ever-Evolving list of Gambling Jokes

Some funny, many not so! Casino and betting jokes for you to cheer you up when the chips are down :)

Gabmlin

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I was walking down the street the other day when I tripped over a sign to the local sportsbook. What are the odds on that?

I Got asked to leave the casino the other night.

They said I had a chip on my shoulder.

Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker?

They always fold.

People say gambling can ruin lives, but it brings our family closer together.

We now live in a one-bedroom apartment.

Gambling addiction hotlines would be much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

My girlfriend just dumped me because of my gambling addiction.

But I know I can win her back.

I don't see my wife & kids anymore. It's all due to gambling.

I won the lottery and I moved to Hawai'

Judge to a carpenter: "You were arrested during a drugs bust in a gambling den. What were you doing there?"

"Making a bolt for the door, your honor."

A gambler walks into the butcher shop and says to the assistant behind the counter, "I bet you $200 you can’t get that meat down from the top shelf without a ladder."

The assistant looks up, turns to the gambler, and replies: "I’m afraid I can’t take that bet, sir. The steaks are too high."

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realized she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

I put a bet on a horse because I was told it had excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.